So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
