Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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