Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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