well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
