i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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