Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
