Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
