smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
