Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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