We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
