My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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