I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize