I didn't shave. On purpose
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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