Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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