no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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