The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
