butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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