Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
