so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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