By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize