Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize