I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
