Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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