do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Mom said you looked used
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
