"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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