Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
