Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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