God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
