No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
