Your tits are I can't wait for
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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