I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
