no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
