I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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