I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
