how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
