Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
