I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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