Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize