he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
