Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
