boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
