hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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