her vagine was all disorganized.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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