Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
