Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
