White coat. Heels.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
