Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
