Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
