OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize