Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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