he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
