Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize