Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
