I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
