I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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