I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
