I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
