Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
