You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
