Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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