If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
