I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
