last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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