Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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