im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
