the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
