i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
