Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
