I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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