I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
