I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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