Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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